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I noticed this funny post on the league's player exchange page.  We're not in the market, but it's a pretty good effort!

Retired NFL Quarterback Looking For Teamby Pat on 3/5/2012

37 years-old. Live in NW DC. Looking for fun team to get into shape with. Retired NFL Quarterback (Madden Football 1994-2012). 3 year high school starter and letterman at left midfield. Played club soccer at George Mason (Champions 1996, Catholic Campus Ministry). Can play on the left or right side. Prefer the left side. Unique ability: Long throw-ins. In high school and college could hit far post from the corner kick stripe (without doing a flip). With age I am more suited for defender now (the good: more salty. the bad: slower). Vocal on the field. Conversant in important comedic movies of our time as a point of reference (Animal House, Fletch et al) and Play Station 3 (See above). My promise: No hospitals balls! Email me at